A list of things you should absolutely not do on Senior Skip Day (wink wink)

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A list of things you should absolutely not do on Senior Skip Day (wink wink)

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A quick preface before the truancy police kicks the door down and arrests me: Senior Skip Day is not in any way, shape, or form, an acceptable tradition to take part in. Seniors of SHS should not under ANY circumstances fail to attend their classes on April 13, 2018. To take place in such a harmless and widespread American custom would be an immoral, unethical, and downright sinful atrocity to yourself and your community. To participate is to completely and totally invalidate yourself as a human being, undoubtedly earning yourself a ticket to eternal torment and suffering.

If, however, you think you will be able to sleep at night after committing such a crime, here is a list of activities you should absolutely not do on Senior Skip Day.

1- Do not visit the beach.
Under no circumstances should you and your friends drive down to one of SC’s many beautiful beaches and enjoy a day filled with laughter in the sun. Do not bring a picnic lunch, a kite, or a beach ball. Do not bring shovels and buckets and attempt to build a sandcastle with your fellow seniors.

2- Do not go to an amusement park.
Carowinds is a fun and popular destination, but you should absolutely not purchase a ticket and go. Do not ride roller coasters, water slides, or participate in other such thrill-seeking activities. Do not consider Frankie’s Fun park, Sky Zone, or Velocity as possible locations for fun.

3- Do not go out to eat with friends.
You should not gather a group of pals and venture out into the wild array of restaurants available in our area. It would be irresponsible to consider enjoying a meal at a fast food stop, locally owned diner, or foreign restaurant. Do not remember to tip your waitress.

Please attend school on Friday, instead of electing to cut and have a fun day with your friends. Whatever you decide to do, remember NOT to take pictures, enjoy yourself, or have fun.

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